Bonnie Shell's Life Stories

What is one of the stupidest things you've ever done?

Many years ago, I sang with a women's chorus. We mostly sang for lady's clubs or nursing home residents. We almost always changed into costumes and did our makeup at the venue. When we sang for all women, we used both the ladies and men's bathrooms. I lived a sheltered life because I, until this particular time, had never been in a men's bathroom.

I had seen a men's bathroom in a few movies, and the urinals were on the floor. I followed a few gals into a bathroom and didn't notice it said "MEN" on the door. We went in, and these things were hanging on the wall. I said, "Oh look, they must have a kindergarten in this building because these cute little sinks are on the wall." With that, everyone burst out laughing and told me those were urinals.

We had a singing engagement with this same group at the local insane asylum. The husband of one of our singers decided to go with us for protection. So we all went in and did our show, and the guards were leading us out and didn't notice that a man came in with us. They thought he was one of the inmates and tried to detain him until we all vouched that he was one of us.

I worked at a company that had a primarily Polish cleaning crew. I can speak a little Polish. One day we had an accident in the women's locker room. A whole bank of lockers fell over. They were not attached to the wall. The doors of about four or five lockers opened, and broken bottles of hand lotion, nail polish remover, and other messy things covered the floor.

The Polish cleaning ladies came, and I tried in my best broken Polish to explain what happened. After that, they would see me in the hallway or the shop and try to start a conversation with me. I smiled and nodded a lot.